Women talk: The Fake Seers!

Women talk: The Fake Seers!

The Fake Seers!

Hi guys, long time people. Glad to post something new again today. Today's hot topic is on fake pastors...lol. It will come in parts like Nollywood movies so bear with me.
Today's episode is on a group of housewives living in the same community.
Isoken had a shop in the heart of town so everyone used to assemble there to spend sometime to gist and mix. One day a very beautiful woman came to make some purchases and from that day joined the group. Jummy was your real 'oyinbo beauty' she appeared a tad timid, always had a smile and was super observant as others shared gists ranging from business, to children and marriage palaver.
There came a day when she opened up to us all that she too had to go spiritual on all the people oppressing her and that got us all. We all never considered a spiritual angle to each our issues before she brought it up...as soon as she saw we were intrigued, she came up with one CAC church that the spiritual head there was super holy and could do prayers that would set everyone free...biko, who nor wan epp(lol) we were also curious for most part...so another human being can look straight after prayers and all your enemies would be gone in 'sixty seconds'

That was how she gave us date and time, we all got our scarves and bibles ready to kick some enemies ass for good. We drove there in convoy and as we all stepped in we heard the prayer points na hin we begin dey look ourselves that...the service was on a weekdays and in Yoruba with mostly women in attendance everyone praying and screaming against their enemies....
We sha joined the program and one women was translating the undiluted Yoruba for us so we could understand and pray along. To cut the long story short, prayer finished, our beauty queen lined us up to see the prophetess . ...
The prophetess prayed in 'many tongues' and her deputy recorded it and wrote it down on a piece of paper, omo! We   were glued. There was five of us in total so woman one, isoken   got prayed upon and her vision was revealed ....then bola, then this then that...at the end of it all, we had heard how this in-law didn't want one of us to get pregnant , how one didn't want two of us to enjoy our husband's, how two of us couldn't get married cos their aunties was annoyed with their mother...orisirisi nonsense (lol)
We still went for a few more services cos we were all in fear of this known enemies until I invited one of my big sis and she went to see what's up o. By the time they dropped the vision, it was beyond hot(lol) apparently, our Beauty queen had been going to give them info on each and everyone of us. Let me explain it...what she does is she'd go to the one closest to you and ask stylishly what your story was in details then she'd feed her prophetess and with that, they'd see right into your present and past.
I sat there and listened in disgust, she even made me interpret and it got to a point where I was tongue tied mbok! Eru ki leyi oo....spiritual fraudsters. They went as far as saying my sis was made a king and her star was to be bowed before like Joseph, that her husband would fight her because of his pride and she was made to live without a husband oo. That was the last time I went there, we had a good laugh in the car after the seers prophesy...
Later on I heard from my other friends that it got to a point where they were asked to bring 'pankere' to flog the life out of their enemies then 'broom' to sweep away their oppressors...
Till date when some of us still gather we get to laugh over this mini fraud. Thank God for Jesus Christ, the holy Spirit and wisdom from God almighty. Anyways, that was how our spiritual curiosity led us to broom sweeping and pankere whipping CAC and back to our church oo. Somebody praise the Lord for us.
Please, many more parts coming soon and don't forget to share. Thank you guys.

'lailai, not my child!'

Hello Guys, I'm so sorry I've been MIA.... I had my daughter's birthday and my children's exams. I apologize!
Anyways, today's gist is about a Big Sis and her Two sons. She came to my office and was lamenting about one of her son's today. She's Muslim and she has three boys in all. Two of them had finished High school two years ago and afterwards had traveled to Europe to further their education.
This ISIS matter is real oh my people, the way and manner they recruit and brainwash the Muslim youth is something else. All morning, I had watched CNN, update after update about the two brothers that just committed suicide by blowing themselves up in Brussel same as one of the two brothers that committed the Paris bombing....
These two boys were sent to Europe to get university education oo, how one of them was drafted to join ISIS....we don't know o and we are still in shock oo!
First and foremost, who sends boys that had once burgled their home by breaking and entering through the roof to a University in a foreign country....hmmn
One of the boys already looked like a radical shortly before he left Nigeria, he had valid visas to the US and UK and so after a session at school, he converted a part of his school fees to buy ticket to the US to get training....
He was on surveillance at the time so his travel plans was foiled and he was deported back to his shocked parents!
His family still can't get over how this came to happen to their young innocent child during their watch. They weren't negligent of their duties as parents, they got their kids Arabic teacher and they put them in good private school. However, when you love your kids you may sometimes be blind to some of the things you notice, the red flags are always there...
This same boy had been reported by fellow residents to be seen scaling the fence at night, by security in the Neighborhood when they broke into their parents house and the parents always said 'lailai, not my child!'
Well, it is now obvious that it is definitely 'Your Child'... There was this young girl working during her holidays as a cashier, She is of course 'SU' at home but at work, she was something else. I had this 18 year old tailor too, she was aiding and abetting my fraudulent chief stylist...Gist for another day! These are children living under their parents roof o, how much more those living in foreign countries. Having a solid relationship with your kids is not optional! May God help us train our kids in the right path!
Please, don't forget to Share. Thank you and God bless!

Saintly and Human!

Greetings and good morning to you all! Am happy you're reading today, God so bless you! Bits of Soyinka today tho...
So today's post is dedicated to all the 'spirikokos', the spiritual brothas, the Spirit filled, Anointed this and that....y'all been breaking spirit led hearts since 19gbogboro(lol). Our spirit filled Sista's be waiting on you since kingdom come, be praying on you since the times of Esther and them Ruth....they been fasting on your godly faces since thy will be done on earth and finally when the Senior pastors joins you two....they are in your house, taking care of your majesty and standing by your side like J the baptist and finally you wanna sow your oats and you betray the Sister like Judas his lord! Chai, there is God o!
One of my domestic staff was so upset when she recounted this story and after hearing it, I just understood the 'one chance' situation! Well, the thing is our men of God too are human beings oo, be not deceived. Shebi, you all remember swagger man David and his desire for beauty and things of beauty(God forgive me o...lol)
This Our man of God too, ees like him and David have something in common keh. His wife, the one that God gave him to the exclusion of all others one day was no longer enough for his unsaintly side, I such that he kept his own Jeze babe on the side...like Soyinka's Olunde, he is a man of honor, he will lay his mat and shed his load!
You know our men of God can't keep their passwords and other things any sharp side chic man of the world would keep or own. They like to touch feet to feet too like the surugede dance by Moonlight (lol)Unfortunately, Bobo G.O and Mama G.O traveled on Vac and Jezebellicious had missed Bobo G.O....she began chatting him as soon as he turned on his phone in the plane...you know how close Papa and Mama have to sit now especially if it is economy class o. Mama sha peeked and saw you know that short narrative that appears on your screen prior to opening it...ehn, that one that just pops and bounces off(lol) yes, that one was what mama saw but Papa thought Mama was lost in the spirit and didn't notice, you know how some 007 women can be now(lol). She 'carry face' like my warri friends would say. Unknowingly to Papa, the issue became a season film she followed up as soon as they returned home and daddy was deep in sleep. I know some sharp men would sleep with their phones under their pillows but this is a Man of God o. When you're jetlag, you may not remember to delete and as usual, one day is for the owner!
Mama quickly grabbed phone and did ultrascan sharply. Hmmm, sometimes it is better not to look cos you will find and it may not be a blessing at all. Long story short, mama didn't like what she saw, she almost fainted! Her family side chic is all those ones that are ready for hostile takeover o...'kamari'.
She was so shaken by the chats that she hasn't eaten since then, her husband the faithful altar man was so angry she didn't trust him enough she searched his phone....'the story of a Yoruba 18th century couple'.
Am still confused over this matter of the 'searchee' and the 'searchor' ....so all this issue of fleeing from the appearance... and this woman tried oo! She fled and still ended up with virgin husband turned Judas iscariot....there is God o.
All these badosneh be parading as St. Peter them. And all the fake ass Esthers and Ruths and Naomi... somebody said some women are even turning potiphars wife sef. It is all on you badosneh, our good women are blaming y'all....Judas and co! Anyways, as he continues to match his strength with passion he knows his time is now for the world we know is good!
I know if the African magic Yoruba peeps should get wind of this...it won't take one week for this movie to be out o(lol)
This is not a joking sturvs as this could be You, yes you and God forbid me....lol. Nobody holy pass Tubaba oo, but on this I say verily...pass me lord, oh gentle savior! You nko? I know you will all go into mfm mode now(lol). Praise the Lord Somebody and have a wonderful morning. The lord protect our eyes and legs; what we see and where we go ijmn, Amen!

I hope you check for New post tomorrow, thanks for reading. Enjoy the days bliss! Please, don't read alone share too. Cheers!!!

Parental Guidance!

Hello peoples!
Good morning to you all. Thank God for a good day already. Shout out to my SuperNephew, my very own mr Energetic Oluwademilade Adepitan on his sixth birthday. May God continue to bless and keep Darling.
Today is about my son and school. This boy is a gister extraordinaire(lol). So this day on our way back home, he started this gists about some senior boys that ride in the school bus with him. He reported that they were going straight to 'Hell' (lol) cos they were discussing their Neighbor that was seen 'smooching' his wife from his window and also how they used to listen to their parents....hmmmn.
My Sister and I listened in shock. But I was super proud of him when he said he cautioned them and told them how it was an evil thing to say and do. Omo, I was dancing 'Bata' in my mind oo...thank goodness! Infact, when he finished with a disgusted look on his face, I 'highfived' him.
But I couldn't wait to call the school administrator o...immediately she picked my call, I launched into full attack....'Who were the grown ass kids riding with my small innocent children? This world with all sorts of human pollution, some people want to pollute my own children...mba no, biko oo!
My kids that if by mistake they see adults kissing on the TV, they warn each other to cover face and they instantly cover their face. They know that only daddy and mummy can kiss or touch them and some boys are describing in details some nasty shit...
Anyways, the 'KOKO' or Nucleus of this gist is that let us be careful what we allow our children see and watch and know. When the time is right, they will learn these things. Sex education is essential for kids old enough to talk and understand.
Some of us parents that love to watch adult movies and 'davido and co'...be careful around the children, there is no reason for them to learn sexy dance steps at 4 just so they can win dance competition at a party #mytwokobo. Enough said!
Thanks for reading up again today. Enjoy a beautiful day and many of God's blessings! Join me again tomorrow and remember to SHARE and COMMENT!

A Landlady's Nightmare!

Hey Guys, sorry this is coming rather late! My day was super busy, I apologize.
Today I ran into my friends landlady and we all got talking. She looked super relaxed unlike other times I've had the pleasure to behold her presence. I had to ask her why she glowed so well, to which she had this super story to tell:
'Errm...Mrs A, my crazy Tenant has moved out ooo, help me to Praise The Lord'. I was taken aback, I responded with 'Ah, what happened....'
This landlady was terrorized by her tenant to the point where this woman walked on eggshells in her own home, it was a neighborly Gulf war. Apparently, they had a business arrangement after they had gotten super close. The landlady was often bored and used to go visit this Tenant in her apartment. Anyways, their business deal went sour and the relationship broke down irretrievably. That was how the war of words premiered in their house o (lol).
 The tenant began with malice, u know us women now...then she added heavy aggressive prayer points, the type that if the MFM prayer warriors heard about sef, they would fear. Those of us that are 'fatty-orobos' know the full effect of jumping and stamping the ground on a decking of a duplex...it is like the saying that 'When two Elephants fight, it is the ground that suffers'. Well, my friend and the landlady are the other occupants of this property, so they're the ones that suffer.
Then she began to incite her grown kids against the landlady, the kids would turn the pumping machine on and purposely let the water run till the woman can't take it no more and calls the child....you will just see this ultimate warrior of a tenant descending the stairs, three at a time menacingly spoiling for a fight...this landlady would be told the story of her life including how she visits her without wearing a bra.
One prayer, may God not give us 'monitoring spirit' of a Tenant o(lol)...this woman monitors her landlady such that, she could even give the angels updates on her everyday schedule, no need to stress 'Angel Gabriel'(lol).
So finally, they had this huge mega outburst where tenant called police officer to come arrest the Landlord for challenging their son for not turning off the pumping machine(orisirisi) lol. The landlord was mighty upset and they were issued quit notice....they didn't contest it o(ijongbon people) they began packing what was heavy and small of their properties and finally yesterday after showing off their new car, they moved out!
Oh boy, what a sweet relief for the street landlords, her co tenant and especially the Landlady and her family. The 'koko' of the matter is watch who you do business with, don't allow it to be too close to home and know where to draw the line. Some women are kolomentals and are a time bomb waiting to explode. Beware of crazy ass Tenants, keep your distance and respect yourself. We had a Neighbor growing up who wouldn't buy battery for their wall clock and would send her step kids to come to ours to check what time it was...from borrowing Maggi to borrowing 'rodo'...Now that I look back, I have to say thank God her landlord wasn't staying in the same house(lol)
Okay Guys, join me again tomorrow for more. Please, don't forget to drop a comment and share with someone else. Thanks aplenty.

Yellow is the New Fine!

Hello Guys,
Good morning to you all. I trust the weekend was wonderful, I almost wanted the days to 'PAUSE'. Anyways, I apologize for not posting this weekend. Thanks to everyone that has tried commenting. This blog hasn't reached its full potential yet, I am still trying to improve it so we can read and comment easily.
If like me, you scan through social networks every day then you would know exactly what's up for adverts for women mostly: weight loss and detoxification, body shapers and enhancers, skin glow and whitening products, human hair and natural hair etc. Aside weight loss adverts the next big advert is 'yellow is the New fine'.
Today's post is all about being yellow. Being born yellow or fair requires maintenance, my sisters.  Any small thing, ppl say 'Ah! Kilode, you're now very dark o' or 'are you okay, you're looking burnt'. So you don't know the luck you have to be born dark like Genevieve and remain dark like her.
There's a new crave to become super yellow and I don't blame women, men have the tendency to chase after attractive yellow Sisi's and no one wants to carry last.
So last week sha, at my children's school a woman was greeting me calling me by my first name and I just wondered who it was till she moved nearer, flipped her hair backwards, smiled and said 'you don't always recognize me, same thing the last time we saw when I was pregnant'. Chai! I looked intensely and realized she was my junior back in secondary school and she used to be a little dark. She looked amazing, attractive and gorg but she just didn't remind me of that my little junior back in school. I quickly apologized and stored her features in my brain(lol)
Being fair in complexion is not easy too. I've been dealing with acne and severe black spots, the acne scars all from hormones, someone said to try funbactA and boy, that just pretty much burnt me out silly. I had to go back to my natural treatment using honey, lemon juice, ncp, apple cider vinegar and neo medrol. The applications can be tiring and frustrating. The big news is that, i recently switched to using one magic thing as in....this one is over effective oo if u don't care about where it comes from.... it is mighty incredible and it is natural...original sontin, you're gonna have to buzz me to learn that(lol)
Did u also know that makeup can make you look as white or as yellow as you'd love...especially for your selfies and outing look. If you behold my makeup bag, it is bigger than my kids lunch bag with 'orisirisi assorted secret keeping, color blocking items(lol)
And if you're going yellow from dark...do the expensive type and don't come back looking tye and dye. Do it CLEAN!!! An amazing skin will get you things that can't be got naturally (lol)
Have a nice day people till tomorrow. Cheers!